The long and winding road

On my last post, I joked that it might be twenty more interviews before I have answers.

I might not have been too far off.

Today I had a successful interview.  Successful, however, does not mean a job offer.  And the Big Boss has a lot of Bigger Bosses.  This journey isn't over, and so far it's been successful, but it turns out that I am nowhere near the finish line.  I am told that there are an additional three to four interviews ahead for the final candidate.  Will the job be offered to me?  I don't know.  But I AM a candidate, and I've made it this far, and I'm going to move to the next level of interviews.

I have been told that I will have to be patient, because this is a long process.  When I heard that, I felt incredibly relieved.  My head is still spinning with all of this, and I really need to catch up with myself.

In the past couple of months, my perception of myself has started to change, and I do not feel entirely caught up to myself.  A little time to catch my breath doesn't sound like a delay, it sounds like a welcome break.

Ten years ago, I was shrinking to a size that I didn't belong in.  Ten years ago, I was about to "come down with" breast cancer.  My marriage was unraveling.  I'd willingly stepped away from my job.

Four years ago, I said "Enough."

Four years isn't very long to make over an entire life, to lose all of one's baggage, to change EVERYTHING.

Three years ago, I started working full time and my ex moved out.

Two years ago, I was officially divorced.

A year ago, I successfully switched careers.

And this year I'm going to try to land the job that will truly put me on the path I wish to be on, financially and personally.  But more than that, MUCH more than that, is that I'm going to try to re-conceive of myself as a person who doesn't just belong at the big kids' table, but at the adult table.

My head is swimming in all of it.

I need to gather my energy, because all of these changes aren't easy.  Today, I feel completely worn out, as a matter of fact.

But I'm one step closer.  One day at a time.