Monday, June 30, 2014

A new liberation

Today I cut ties with the last of my gentleman callers.

Oh, did I say "gentleman caller"?  My mistake.  I meant to say "incessant texters."  Sure, he sent me nice messages several times a day and was gentlemanly (not a single penis in sight in those messages), but really, what is the deal with all of the texting?

Side rant:  Texting is not dating.  Texting is not a relationship.  Texting is little pixels of short sentences and is best used to say "Does 5pm work for you?" or "Do you want me to pick up dog food on the way home?" or "Call me when you get a minute."  Texting is not a good way to establish connections, to have a real relationship, or to be romantic.  I don't care if you call me's still not romantic.  It's texting.  (End rant, thanks for listening.)

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.  As I was saying: I cut ties.  We weren't a fit.  He was kind, sweet, smart, and funny - all amazing traits.  But he was also non-committal ("I want to see you again" wasn't followed by "on this day at this time"), we had some serious religious differences (I know people figure that out all the time, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to take that on), and the big one...I just wasn't feeling it.

I just wasn't feeling it.

And here's the thing...

I don't feel like feeling it.

I'm not sure if this new stage will last, but right now, I just don't care to date.  I am not terribly interested in men (except for the occasional "oh meowwwwww!" moment), because I can't be bothered.

WHAT?!  "I can't be bothered!" isn't my style at all, but there it is.

Right now, when I think about dating, I think about compromising (where to go, what to do).  I think about "putting on my best face" and what, impress someone?  I think about dealing with someone else's quirks, someone else's baggage, someone else's schedule.  I think of giving up time with my friends, or time with myself.  I think about compromising the way I'm raising Katherine in some way (sharing her time, or my focus on the life that the two of us have created).

I know, don't I make romance sound grand?  Quite the dream date I am.

I don't know when I became this blasé about it all, but there it is.

And I feel liberated.

I'm not leaving room in my schedule for dates, and I don't appear to care what any gentlemen think of me at this time.

If I try to adopt a bunch of cats and become a crazy cat lady, you'll stop me, won't you?

But until then, you'll find me on the trail.  In a book.  At work. (Oh boy, will you ever find me at work.)  On the beach.  In a museum.  Hosting friends for dinner.

But you won't find me shopping the man-mall (online dating) or on a date.

How liberating!

P.S.  My friends hear this and say, "Now you're ready."  Comical, isn't it?  Because I may be ready.  But if Superman came along, I would have a hard time saying yes to him, because I'm not kidding about al of this.

1 comment:

  1. Boy, do we need to hang out! We are soul sisters! Just found your blog in a similar state...I wish I could care about the wonderful man who IS committal, but I wasn't ready to switch baggage carts without a lot more time for ME, a new community and my kids. But I don't want to risk losing a good catch in a sea of, well...let's just say over 40 male prospects are not without quirks, just like us! Where is the answer? I don't believe there is one. Thank you. I'll be reading your blog often now. ;-)