Thursday, September 26, 2013

I want it all, and I'm putting it out there!

Over at Perils of Divorced Pauline, there's a hot boy toy flirtation going on.

It has me thinking.

I could have such a flirtation if I wanted one - and make no mistake, part of me wants one.  Fun, playful, full of witty banter and hot sex....yes!  Someone to make out with, snuggle with on the sofa, and then make out again?  Mmm.  Yes.

But I can't.

I am not hung up on the morality of it - I say as long as it's safe and healthy (physically, emotionally, etc.) and doesn't hurt anyone else, then do what you want.  It's none of my business, and I know that what works for me doesn't work for everyone, so I don't feel like I could possibly know what is good for someone else.

But I do know what is good for me, and, fortunately or not, I want it all.

Hear that, Universe?  I want it all.  Please.

I have been online dating - no actual dates in a few weeks, because I've turned them all down - and feeling very popular.  Messages continue to come in with regularity, and mixed in with the lame "Hey, gorgeous!" and the somewhat sleazy "Hey sexy, how'd you sleep last night?" ones are some that actually are interesting.

I don't want that.  And I don't want "interesting" I want AMAZING.

This is me putting it out there.  Here's my prayer:


Dear Universe/God/gods/Angels:

Help me, please!  I know that what I want is a tall order, but I believe it's out there.  I could use a hand - can you help?  Please send me the one I'm dreaming of...  I feel him getting closer.  I want the one I'll grow old with.  I want the one who will roll in the sheets with me, hold my hand under the table, skip rocks on the beach with me, hike the mountain with me, giggle at the bad gallery art with me, visit my parents with me, travel with me.  I want the one who will help me make dinner and do the dishes, who will be just as glad to see me on a Tuesday night with stir fry and kids as he will to get on a plane and go somewhere incredible with me.  I want to feel soul touching love, and I want to model to my daughter what that looks like.  I want to give and receive respect; I want to cherish and be cherished.  I want a man worthy of my trust and affection, who brings out the best in me and allows me to bring out the best in him.  Shared values, shared interests, and a shared life.  Off the charts physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual chemistry.  When I look at him, I want my heart to leap with desire and joy, and I want him to feel the same about me.

I have faith that this is coming, and I believe.  Thank you for your help.

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