New Phase?

I didn't see this phase coming.  Surprise!

I went out on a breakfast date last weekend (nice enough guy, terrible match), and then yesterday I went on a lunch date.  I've been surfing OkCupid per the usual, and every now and then someone catches my eye.

And yet...

I'm so, so, so bored with all of it.

Yesterday's date was quite nice.  Handsome enough, smart enough, interesting enough hobbies.  He wasn't smarmy, he wasn't rude.  He smiled, he listened, he asked questions.  We both joked about the nature of online dating.

It should have been great.

It wasn't great.

I just don't seem to care any more.  Well, that's not it.  I care about LOTS of things.  My daughter.  My friends.  My family.  Running. CAREER.  The environment.  Health.  Living my best life.

But dating?  Not so much.

When did this happen?

I've been on perhaps 20 first dates, and I've chosen to go on a second date with precisely ONE person (Luke) in the past two years.  I'm great at first dating, and I've learned how to weed out the weirdos before we even meet, so the men I meet aren't bad guys - they're nice people.  Not an axe murderer in the bunch, as I like to say.  But my attitude is getting progressively worse.

I'm blasé about it.  I'm not terribly open...at all.  As I sat across from this nice man, who may be some girls' dream date, I felt....nothing.  Impatience, even.

It's time to stop dating for a while.  I want my dream man, sure.  I really, really, really want him, actually.  I want to walk in the door and see his smile, the one that makes his eyes crinkle.  I want to have wild sex with him.  I want to sit across the table from him and debate where to go on vacation.  I want to curl up on the sofa, leaning into him, his arm loosely draped around me as I read The New Yorker, occasionally looking up to say, "hey, listen to this!"  I want to watch him fall in love with Katherine, maybe picking her up and tossing her in the air sometimes (she's a lightweight - he could do it!).

But I don't have the energy for it.  I don't know if my standards are too high, but nobody seems to meet them.  (If I met Luke again, he wouldn't meet them either.)

I shut down my OkCupid account again.  I told Mr. Nice that I'd go out with him again, but I doubt right now that I can follow through.

Work interests me.  Running interests me (half marathon in less than two weeks and I'm so excited).

But enough of this already.  Enough.  I'm done with dating and men for a while.  I need to be less bored with dating to meet Mr. Right....I'm pretty sure about that.