I am a super motivated person. I've got a zillion things on the go, I'm full of ideas, I have more energy than most people.
Except that unemployment appears to be sucking that out of me.
It's exhausting! Why is that?! I want to crawl into bed and wait for....I don't know what.
I would rather be working. I miss many things about work: scolleagues, contributing to a bigger cause, personal growth. I am good at working and I stay pretty focused.
But at home? My house is messier, not cleaner, and my yard is a wreck, and I have no excuse.
I applied for two jobs today, including the job that has me all twitterpated, and afterwards I felt like I'd just completed some incredible feat and needed to rest for about a million years. The process is exhausting, and the risking rejection, and the knowledge that it's all on the line....well, it's enough to make me crazy.
I feel crazy, actually. Unemployment is making me crazy.
I keep hearing from people who know me and who hold some great jobs that I am a fantastic candidate, that I can do this.
But it's so, so scary.
That's all. I don't have anything profound to say today. I'm scared, and worried, and I feel stuck a lot.
This too shall pass, right?!
I feel you!1 I have been unemployed for a while now and it feels never ending!
ReplyDeleteI keep trying to view it as a gift but its getting hard. As a 40 yo I have totally experienced age bias and it is so frustrating!! hard to keep your chin up. I like you try to keep thinking this too shall pass.