Thursday, November 7, 2013

Imagining

These interviews have me feeling squirrely.  It's hard to focus because I keep thinking about them, not about looking for other interviews, or the tasks at hand...

But what if I actually got The Job?

With a reasonable salary, and benefits, and vacation time?  And colleagues and meaningful work and an organization that is well run?  With a good commute, intellectually satisfying work, and work that changed the world?

Ohhhhhhhhh.  That sounds good.  Very good.

What if I started saving for retirement again, and didn't go into debt?

What if I could plan vacations?

What if I could look people in the eye and tell them what I do with pride in my voice?

What if my life felt stable and solid again, not so up in the air?

The odds are against me in some ways.  I know that.

But I have faith that it will work out.

Mostly.  I struggle.  But I'm working hard on that faith, and I do have faith in myself, and that the universe is on my side.

The next few days are important.  And scary.

I'm hopeful.

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