These interviews have me feeling squirrely. It's hard to focus because I keep thinking about them, not about looking for other interviews, or the tasks at hand...
But what if I actually got The Job?
With a reasonable salary, and benefits, and vacation time? And colleagues and meaningful work and an organization that is well run? With a good commute, intellectually satisfying work, and work that changed the world?
Ohhhhhhhhh. That sounds good. Very good.
What if I started saving for retirement again, and didn't go into debt?
What if I could plan vacations?
What if I could look people in the eye and tell them what I do with pride in my voice?
What if my life felt stable and solid again, not so up in the air?
The odds are against me in some ways. I know that.
But I have faith that it will work out.
Mostly. I struggle. But I'm working hard on that faith, and I do have faith in myself, and that the universe is on my side.
The next few days are important. And scary.
I'm hopeful.
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