Insecurity

I'm a confident woman.

I know that I have what it takes to succeed in life: smarts and a good education, a kind heart, a solid set of core values, persistence and optimism, a great social network and a supportive family.  I realize that I have been blessed in many ways, and that I have every reason to succeed.

Except.

Except that when it's all on the line, I start to feel like a total fraud, a sham, a disaster.

I'm waiting to hear back from my interview last week, and I'm preparing for my interview tomorrow.  Today I had to take some online tests for the interview tomorrow, and they were simplistic, and yet I worried that I would fail.

Confidence out the window.  Heart racing.  Fear surging.

This is just part of the process, I think.  Find me one person who doesn't experience doubt, and I'll be surprised at their existence.

But knowing that we all experience fear, doubt, and insecurity doesn't make mine any less real.  My heart is racing, and I question whether I'll ever be able to land on my feet.

(Sigh)

One foot in front of the other.  I will make my life happen, and if it's not to be this week, then maybe next week.  Time will tell, and until then, I suppose I'd better get used to living with doubt and fear, unless you have a better suggestion!