This evening I got another email, this time saying that I was a finalist (what? I wasn't already a finalist?) for the other job, and they'd like to talk to me for a half hour on Monday. We're talking salary, and we're close enough with our numbers to be interesting. Apparently the team loved me...and my fingers are crossed.
But I feel like this process is aging me. I'm exhausted. The rejection, the hope, the fear.
And this is my life we're talking about here: my career, which is very important to me, but also my financial stability. I'm thinking in four week increments right now, and it's terrifying.
I want to have grown up finances. I want to have a grown up career.
I am ready to be back in the workforce, juggling a million balls, rather than cowering at home watching television shows that mean nothing to me.
This feels like an identity crisis, and I like to think "In a year, I'll look back and be happy about how it all worked out" but right now, well, I'm in the thick of it, freaked out, and wondering how my life got so crazy.
Deep breaths.
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